Kicked out of Church

Forrest Mallard

I’m a huge fan of Europe’s FREE WALKING TOURS, and in Granada, Spain,
I found one of the best companies that do this.


Saint Martin's Cathedral
Dóm sv. Martina
Rudnayovo námestie No. 1
811 01 Bratislava, Slovakia


Kicked out of Church

Being Too Much of a Tourist

So I was kicked out of church today.

Visited the beautiful St. Martin’s Cathedral in Bratislava, a very historical place and site of some very important events and coronations. Between 1563 and 1830 St Martin’s served as the coronation church for Hungarian kings and their consorts, marked to this day by a 300-kg gilded replica of the Hungarian royal crown perched on the top of the cathedral’s 85-metre-tall neo-Gothic tower. Ten kings, one queen and seven royal wives from the Habsburg Dynasty were crowned in St. Martin’s Cathedral.

The art was fairly similar to most pieces found in churches throughout Europe, but then I entered the choir area.

At the end of each row was a BEAUTIFUL, fun and playful, hand-carved, wooden sculpture.
I spent more time looking at these beautiful carvings than I did the entire rest if the church.

The Photo that HAD to be Taken

Then I saw a beautiful Dragon and I knew I needed to get a photo with Trampy, and was so happy to get the shot before a volunteer stopped me and said, “Have some respect!” I pointed to draw his attention to the sculpture of the MONKEY PLAYING THE VIOLIN, and the BEAR PLAYING THE BASS.

As I put Trampy away I assured the volunteer that the person that designed these sculptures could only have wanted them to inspire playfulness and joy, not stuffy, sterile, grumpiness.

Trampy and I turned on our heels and left.

I would still HIGHLY recommend visiting this cathedral, exclusively for these amazing wooden carvings.

Please leave your dinosaurs at home.


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Hi! I'm Forrest Mallard

In 2005, I moved to Quito, Ecuador with $35 in my pocket and a small handful of online clients. Fifteen years and five continents later, there were moments of absolute glamour, as well as a number of brutal rough patches. But I always felt that a horrible day of travel is infinitely more preferable than a great day at the office. Oh the stories I could tell, and I will try to do that here in Tramposaurus Treks. You'll have access to the good times, the horrifying times, and a few well-deserved moments of travel glamour.

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